Going for my quarterly pdoc visit tomorrow. Will show her my huge tattoo (sleeve) that I now regret getting. Spent $2000.00 on it, it's that huge and full of colour. Will talk to her about my lady-looking time which lasted about 2-3 weeks. Will tell her about the lamp smashing in my kids' room. Otherwise I've mostly been stable. Feeling a lot of self-loathing right now but energy okay. We just came back from a hectic heavy adventure which was amazing but trying and may have rocked the boat a little in terms of mood. I don't know what else to tell her. I've been mostly okay. Sometimes I even doubt the diagnosis but then I think about what life was life before the meds.... that just means the meds are pretty good at working.

I wonder what would happen if I came off all three meds and went on lamictal? Not that I'm willing to try right now due to being in the middle of a huge project at work on which I have to work at a high level.

Sorry for this navel gazing post, I am just feeling really bad about myself now and just had to get it off my chest. Hope the rest of you are having a lovely evening.