CANDC, the protein sounds like a good idea, I do do a really bad job at feeding myself enough (when I get depressed I lose energy and preparing food or grocery shopping seems like such a daunting task). I also see what you're saying about my living situation, and I think you made a really good point about how coping with work is in itself a victory. I kind of forgot that. And ideally I'd like to find a way to cope with my depression and anxiety without shutting down my life every time I have a flare up.

Mustkeepjob32, thank you, that's encouraging to hear that about dragging myself out of bed in the morning. It does feel nearly impossible to do every morning, so it helps for someone to acknowledge the effort it takes. And I know it may be petty of me, but I do hope that he (my abusive ex) feels unlucky now that he doesn't have me.

FutureLib, thank you so much for everything you said. I found your second paragraph really comforting. I do tend to feel that "home" is failure because it's me moving backwards and not being able to do things on my own. So thank you.

PrairieCat - you are bang on. I think that's all that I really can do. I do find my art incredibly healing and powerful. And yes, I need to be able to not be with someone. Thank you!