Congrats on getting through a tough time with such healthy coping methods! That's something to be truly proud of.

I think I really struggle with the idea that I will lose care if I am "all better." Growing up, I was greatly reinforced for my negative behaviors. I sometimes struggle to tell whether I am just not doing well or if my symptoms are present in part because I feel a desire for care. I want to be well, but sometimes the idea of being ill (and being cared for) is intense. I know it is very unhealthy, and I know care doesn't depend upon being ill, but it is difficult to change these behaviors/feelings.