So I've begun to see a new t a few weeks ago.
I'm not sure exactly what my problem is with her....I was just journaling and when I journal I usually gain cllarity...but with this issue I feel like I don't have a handle on it....
The way it was with my previous t.....I would come to a session and I was fully aware of my inner and outer self....and I'd communicate that.... With this new t, I can't seem to be aware of myself....not just in t....outside of t as well....I've lost that sense of full self-awareness...and therefore I can't make use of the therapy hour as I used to....So what's blocking me? I can't figure that out...I don't know whether it's something in her...or something on my end.....whether to try yet another t.....or will the same issue come up there.....Gosh, I'm confused....
Last time I saw her I said I'm so frustrated at my inability to trust her....I've seen her only five times....
Am I not trusting her because I've been so betrayed by my previous t? Is there something about her per se....? Am I afraid of the consequences, if I dare speak my mind? As happened with previous t....
Can my insightful friends here help me make sense out of this? I am seeing her later in the day today and my mind is blocked.
One thought does occur to me, that my difficulty in connecting with her may be in part because I have not yet fully mourned the loss of my relationship with my previous t. Cuz as I sit here and type I am aware of a feeling of sadness and pain.....I am hurting.....
I guess it's hard to connect with a new t when still hurting about the other t....does this make sense at all....?