I could have written your post ... I lost my mother, two aunts (her sisters), and my cousin in a three year span. Like you, I felt very alone and anxious. I had friends but had not invested the time in those relationships that I wish I had.

I've spent years since then developing relationships that help sustain me and I have worked to be open-minded about who those friends might be ... one is with a woman who is 25 years older than me but very wise and loving. It has been a long road but worthwhile. (((Fleury29)))