the thing that keeps me going is my faith. without it i would have been gone a long time ago.

i think the one good thing that comes out of going through the really awful times is that it usually is a turning point and i finally make a change that i've probably needed to make for a very long time. emotional pain is just like physical pain in that it is telling us something is wrong, we are ill, and need help and treatment. if we just try to numb the pain that is kind of like letting your leg go all gangrene.

IG, reading your posts the sense i get is that the core issue for you is not having satisfying relationships in your life. is that right? if so, this is certainly something you can work on in therapy. it won't be solved overnight but it can be solved. maybe you just had to get these other things in place like the job before you were ready to address this. maybe it is time...