You sound like a porn addict, yes. There's something called "the porn cycle" which is a topic gender scientists etc. are interested in. It is basically exactly what you describe - porn starts out quite innocently, mostly at a young age, then it develops and you have to watch more and more hardcore and extreme stuff to get off. They're worried about it because the extreme stuff is now available a click away and children get sucked into that spiral at a young age, so they worry that it will affect they way they look at sex and sexual relations. It's actually quite serious, it is one of the causes for increased penile dysfunction amongst young men! They are so addicted to extreme porn they can't even get it up for a real girl and for real sex anymore, they need the (violent) physical stimuli. It's also interesting because for some people it also decreases their empathy as they get sort of "numbed" to all the violence. Gender scientists of course look at it mostly in relation to how it affects men's behaviour, particularly towards women, but there's still some interesting research out there on this. You should consider seeing a therapist for the porn addiction. But liking gay porn doesn't really say anything about your sexual orientation. Some people are turned on by rape porn but would never in a million years want to be raped or rape someone. Some people are turned on by porn with old people etc. without ever having showed an affection or attraction to old people IRL. I think it applies to some voyeuristic part of us, curiousity combined with the "forbidden"/controversial appeal of it.