Thank you all for your hugs and great support, words of encouragement. Anyone who needs to know is fully aware of the problem.

I took my meds and feeling somewhat more settled. I think I can sleep tonight. I know I was totally irrational last night. It's so easy to get caught up in the cycle and I panic everytime. I should be used to it by now but there are times I get so scared that i'm going to slip away and not return. I know I always do but at the time I can't rationalize.

Things have been going so well for me and when this happens I lose all hope and don't feel I deserve the good that comes my way. How can I feel good about anything when this hell keeps repeating itself over and over again. IT JUST WON'T STOP!!!

Thank you all again. You make it a little more bearable.