Times Ive been really on the brink, caring for another even casually brought me back. Medicaid pays for a car and driver so i save gas money. You see why I want to hang myself. But...the driver blushes and stammers, no english and I fall into teacher drills of thirty years ago. Water cools the radiator. You cool the radiator with water. The radiator cools the engine. You cool the engine with water in the radiator. He grins. I shrug. He repeats. Its fun.

Or the young yardman (dig it, I have medicaid and food assistance and cabs and a yardman) wants to know what those vines are. Turns out he has a new little yard. I tell him how much fun a garden is and despise im an elder who knows things.

I start to feel obliged to survive. Who else will teach these young people?