Anger and hatred toward myself and really wanting to fight them and change. Daydreaming about a happier future life where I finally have peace. I can't die before I have finished my studies and told myself "I love you from the bottom of my heart" at least once, really meaning it.
And my T last time told me "I have no idea how you got over everything and turned into such a beautiful and hard working girl. You cannot see it now, but we will get there". Well I want to get there. That keeps me going [emoji4]