You seem to be pretty 'enlightened' youself.....just keep trusting your gut instinct cuz iin this instance it seems to be spot on! True, meds do no help one process losses. In fact, I had once read an article by a noted psychiatrist. He posits that when there is a loss of a relationship (yours qualifies 2x) it is better not to medicate the grieving person, as medicating can numb the experience,and one needs to experience the grief in order to be able to process it.
If I were you I'd look for a therapist (not psychiatrist) who can provide that which your gut instinct knows you need.

BTW, I recently began seeing a new t and she also mentioned she thinks an antidepressant would be helpful. I simply told her in as matter-of-fact a manner I could that, ''That's not an option for me right now. I would like to process my grief without the use of meds'' At the next session she again mentioned it and I again matter-of-factly stated that, ''I don't favor taking meds...in fact I've tried it in the past and it didn't help'' How COULD it help? I just don't get it! What's it supposed to do? Make me happy? For heaven's sake, I''m grieving! (This is not an anti-meds thread...i's just that for those of us who know what we need from a therapist so that we can grieve our losses, meds are not an equivalent substitue.)