Ok a week ago I walked out of my job. Im going to be honest here and tell you guys some stuff I didnt even share with my therapist. Please dont think I deluded or anything. I just need help with this. Here we go.

I was a lunch lady at a local Elm School and loved my job. A week ago I walked off the job, just like that. Here is what went down. Geesh this is hard.

Last year at the end of the year I had a confrontation with one of the ladys and she said sorry but nothing has ever been the same. This continued through the summer and in the beginning of the school year. I just had a intuitionist that something was not right.

So when we started back I felt left out, by her and three friends. I felt alone and I could tell that some people picked it up too. During the beginning of the school year I felt shun by her. I tried to make jokes with her, I tried being nice, I tried talking to her about her life (which I didnt care about at all.) , on Facebook I made nice comment on her posts.....basically kissing butt. At one point I text her saying (geesh Im embarrassed) "pick up the phone" like seven times in the row. ( left a message saying that I wanted to get together and have a drink and talk things over.

The next day I got in trouble for harassment. I havent even told hubby about this. She also listed stuff on the complaint that we all did in the kitchen and were cool about it. (but was a no no in the rule book) I was trying way to hard for something the other person didnt want.

When it came down my manager and her boss had a "talk with me" and bitterly accused me of all this, they were right, guilty. I was totally blindside and cried. I couldnt think when it came down to my side. When I did at one point I was told "we arent talking about her we are talking about you. And your bipolar has nothing to do with this". My manager (who sucks and has always sucked) said nothing. Wouldnt ever look at me. Cowered

Here is what I was working with. She told me in the beginning of the year, "if you bipolar is bad this year, Im quitting" and one day said, "I almost didnt come in today because of you". Instead of thinking, "that's her problem" I took it on myself to try harder to make her happy.

She accused me of "not doing my job". Instead of saying "your not the one I have to impress" I took it to heart. I worked so hard in there. I worked 1 1/2 hours before she ever came in each day. It tore me up.

I tried to hard to be nice and it got me in trouble. At this point I think it was leave or get fired in just a matter of time.

Here is what I need help with. Do I say my stance? I have date on some of this stuff when it happened (thanks for journaling) Just to save face. Just to have my stance. Or do I just leave it alone and let what is what it is. My therapist and hubby tell me to leave it alone. I dont know. She was wrong on so many level. Im sure people think Im a horrible person. Im not. What would you do? I dont want to care what people think of me, but I do.

What do you guys think? What would you do? Let it be so I dont get into further trouble or say my voice?
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