Sounds like he is doing the deal the EXACT right way. When we're newly sober, those of us who do AA tend to really plunge into the program, because we see how happy everyone is and we want that for ourselves. He sounds just like I was in the beginninng, and just like I still am. I still put my recovery ahead of everything, and do a lot of meetings. Does he have a bigbook? The book Alcoholics Anonymous? If so, I'd read the chapter on "To the Wives". You can also find it online.

This time is for him right now. He's early in sobriety to so he's going to be selfish. He NEEDS to be selfish until he gets his footing in sobriety.

Its totally normal for our friends who aren't in the program to feel left out. By offering your support to him, you'll feel more a part of his recovery. Offer to go to a meeting with him to support him. When he goes to get a 60 day chip, tell him you want to see that.

My ex was "normie". He drank a lot when he went out with his friends but he wasn't alcoholic. He went with me to a few meetings, but we didn't have a "connection" like those of us who are sober have with each other. He tried to be supportive, but I fell away from my program a bit to please him, and it led me to want to drink or die. So make sure he never feels guilty about going to meetings. If he's chosen this path for himself to stay sober, he needs all the support he can get.

Alanon might help too.

~Rayna