Perna -- My T does know how bad my anxiety is right now. I emailed her last night saying that I don't think I can see her, that I'm physically sick from the anxiety, etc. She asked me to please still come.

But I will try going outside in the sun for a bit. I've been working on changing my patio into a "peaceful" garden: butterflies, hummingbirds, water fountain, plants... Least I'm not driving to see her... It's a 40min drive... I wouldn't be safe.