I saw my pdoc today and I asked her why I am on so many meds at such high doses. I asked if it was because my symptoms were hard to treat, severity, or something else. She said absolutely severity. I told her this was upsetting because I felt like I was going to suffer this forever and it would be impossible to treat. She said the meds do help and she wouldn't give up on me. She also had a serious convo with me about sui and the rest of my life, telling me some important things to cling to in my lowest moments (she is such a COMPASSIONATE doctor). She put back on Saphris also which I am not crazy about but I do trust her. I'm sure this isn't probably true for everyone who is on high doses of many drugs, I just wanted to share what she said.