Follow your instincts. My husband wasn't especially interested in his family until he and I married. Suddenly EVERY holiday belonged to his family and he permitted them to run our lives. I love his family, but the enmeshment between my husband and his family became intrusive in our marriage. At this point, we are legally married but do not live together. Guess where he lives? In his parents' home (they are deceased), which is the home in which he grew up. He literally sleeps in the same bed he slept in as a little boy. His brother and sister run his life (this is a man who is 67 years of age). It's sick and discouraging.