There is no right or wrong way to sh... it's not failing, actually it's a win. The general aim is to move to healthier coping skills. I'm sorry it's frustrating you so much right now... can you speak to your t about it? It sounds like you are looking for an "accidental" sui method. Might be good to talk about what is bringing that about.
Sorry I'm not really supportive right now... I'm sure none of that is what you want tp hear right now. It's tough to feel like a failure even with things that are supposed to make you feel better. Maybe this is an opportunity to find something positive that helps?