Hi My Lost Soul.I understand 100% how you feel.In jan I started having anxiety,and I think about dying the most.6 years ago I found out I have factor v,a blood cloting problem,even though I take blood thinners,and have never had a clot,the least little thing such as a cough,bam I think its clot.I have Ativan if I need it,but I tired of taking it.At night sometimes I'm afraid to go to sleep,afraid I won't wake up.I pray and try not to think about it,but it creeps up and the strangest times.You are not alone.Truebliever