I hope your heart can find peace soon. Don't let the lack of responses keep you from coming here. From my own experience, I can tell you, people don't always know what to say.

For a long time I represented the "worst case scenario" of loss that my friends could not wrap their brains around. They wanted to help, but they had no idea how to or what to say. I didn't want to continuously bum them out, so I acted like it was no big deal. They like the happy Violet. The sad Violet reminds them that they might lose their own family someday and be alone and they can't deal with that thought.

My friends had their own stuff they were trying to deal with, so it was hard for them to take mine on too ... but I knew if I asked for help or told them "I need you" they would've been there in a heartbeat.

Keep posting. Sometimes getting your feelings out can help.