Thank you love and toil.

I know what you mean, when I was a teenager, I would be rocking on my bedroom with a bottle of pills on the floor, crying intensely and just daring myself to do it. But I never would. And obviously never have. And I've never attempted it. And statistically, that is a good thing. But, when I'm able to rationalize suicide as well as I have been, my logical mind worries. I KNOW that I am a whiner and I'm sure you guys get tired of hearing it from me and I KNOW that my suffering is not worse than anyone else's suffering but I'm also pretty **** sure that I am much weaker than most people and completely incapable of suffering. The thought of doing it the rest of my life makes my skin crawl and it makes me wiggle and writhe. I just don't think I can and sui seems like the only escape.