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Old Aug 26, 2014, 10:20 PM
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BonnieJean BonnieJean is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: in the windmills of my mind
Posts: 1,334
Quote:
Originally Posted by lone_77 View Post
I had a session yesterday, and I guess I had what would be considered a breakthrough, because new memories surfaced and she was able to help me work through them. But since leaving there, I've just felt so heavy and upset. I've carried memories from my childhood abuser, emotional abuser, my rapist, etc. around for so long that I just hide them away, and if you met me or were friends with me you'd never know. No one knows of my experiences besides me and my T, and she often comments on my resiliency and mental strength. But today and yesterday, I felt that resolve breaking. I guess having her as my only support system isn't the best scenario, and I don't know how to keep myself from becoming depressed or upset until next week. I've never felt so tired or heavy or sad about my past until now, and it kind of surprised me. I was just wondering if anyone has skills that they've learned that might help keep me from despair when I'm not in my T's office, because I still need to function and go to school. She told me I need to 'sit with' my feelings, but I just end up feeling alone. I'm not sure how to deal with these thoughts/feelings, and though I plan on bringing this up next session, right now it seems so far away.
That's a hard place to be. I went thru a similar time a couple of years ago. The only things that would help me during that time were letting out feelings thru painting - not to make art work but covering the paper with lots of black and red color and shapes that seem to help me let out some of the pain. Also, trying to distract myself as best as possible. Sitting with it is a good thing when it can be managed but the pain felt excruciating at times and the wait to see t again too long. I don't feel like she helped me develop any coping skills for managing with it on my own which is what you end up doing every time you walk out that door. I was allowed to email t and that helped, too. I'm sorry you're going thru it.
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-BJ