I spent like 13 years hiding my feelings because I thought I wasn't supposed to show them.

For the last 3 months or so, I gave that up because I thought it was more important to just be real and embrace who I am- I wanted to find freedom in showing emotions.

I recently moved home after graduating. And when I'm depressed, I'm used to it. I'm not in my bed all day or doing anything to harm myself. I live a normal life. I still have a routine. I work. I do creative things. I spend time with friends. I've just been able to stabilize my depression and live with it for the last 3 years.

It's just, the last 3 months- when I'm depressed, I don't put on a smile and hide it anymore. But I'm not discontent about it. It's just the way it is.

So a family member keeps asking me questions about my sadness and wants to know what's wrong ALL the time. Although I appreciate the sentiment, I like to keep my sadness private. I feel like I am burdening her now and making her worry which I don't want to do.

I feel as if I need to go back to hiding my depression to keep her from being worried or concerned all the time. So now I feel I have an extra burden to carry for being the real me and embracing who I am.

This is very frustrating... has anyone experienced this?

I'm not trying to answer questions every day about why I am sad from her...

I am content with being depressed and still living my life pretty well.

I really dislike the feeling that this family member is in my business.
It makes me uncomfortable and I am not used to it.

Has anyone experienced this?

One of those days where I wish I was still in therapy...