I have self harmed numerous times as a teenager and twice as an adult but I will admit that I still don't 'get it' and I'm thinking maybe why someone self harms is different for different people.

For example, when I was self harming I hid it. Of course we didn't have internet then so maybe if I had found others who self harmed I would have might have shared but maybe not.

I've known some people who self harmed who seemed to feed off each other's... what would the word be... dysfunction? Could you call self harm a dysfunction?

Anyway I have been inpatient close to a dozen times and was in intensive outpatient at two different facilities. In one of the outpatient groups were three girls that seemed to encourage each other to self harm, something I had not seen anywhere else. One of the girls was being discharged from the program because she was progressing so well. Or so the therapists thought. The last few days before her final day in the program I could see she was more anxious and didn't want to leave the program. I think she needed more support than she was going to get without the program. After her final day at the program she self injured again at home by shoving a needle under the skin in her wrist/hand. She called her T and told her and they told her to come back to the outpatient session the next day. So the next day she was to be placed inpatient after our session. Throughout the session she wore the needle like a badge of honor, talking about it and drawing attention to herself. She came up to me during break and showed it to me and said, do you want to see and totally caught me off guard and I was repulsed and said, no, I don't want to see. I know the reason for that self harm was because she wanted help but not everyone is the same. I wasn't self harming to cry out for help; mine was hidden.

I don't understand self harm. I really don't. Please don't be mad at me for my naivete. It seems to me that people vary in why they self harm and how much they share about it. PC is the first place I have been where people actually seem to support each other which is different than what I saw in the IOP group.

But despite not understanding I would NEVER say some of those things that were said in your group session. I lack understanding but I don't lack compassion.