My T used to say the same thing to me all the time. I hated it. I always questioned: "Why do you want me to sit longer with my feelings than I have to? I do it anyways and emotionally torture myself in the process." She finally stopped saying it.

But... technically, she still has me sit with my feelings. I'm just not literally sitting with them. I have a list of coping skills to go through. I have to go through all of them before I can reach out to my T.

At first, it was difficult (and sometimes it's still difficult). It's easier to go to my T and have her comfort me than trying to comfort myself. But since she informed me that I'm supposed to be using the coping skills even when not in a crisis, using them in a crisis becomes easier; more familiar.

If you don't have a list of coping skills that you know work for you, start making a list and try them out. It doesn't have to be in a crisis. If it makes you feel better when you're not in a crisis, then it should make you feel better when you are struggling.