So, we all know that people with NPD traits can be troublemakers.. So, why do you still have self-respect?

I do because I do see a glimmer of a good person down below somewhere. I know that my behaviors trouble me, and I want to learn to interact with people in healthy ways.

I also know that most of my automatic reactions and defenses were not really of my own making.... I didn't choose to become the person I am in so many deliberate ways....

I've also done a lot of reading about free will. ( I merely stumbled onto the subject). There is a lot of evidence to suggest that no one... has free will. We are all a product of our environments and other factors that we have no control over.