Recently, a relationship of mine ended. In the beginning, everything seemed great. I think I probably idolized him. As soon as I felt abandoned, though, everything went downhill. Because of my insecurity, I thought trying polyamory would be beneficial, but it only ruined my self-esteem and made me paranoid and obsessive.

It seems my most frequent faults in relationships are : assuming the motivations and thoughts of others, jumping to conclusions, not trusting.

I know there are people with BPD who managed to overcome these difficulties. But my question is, can I work on it in a worthwhile way in a committed relationship - or does it do more damage than good?

Regardless of whether I'm in a relationship or not, I will be working on it.
I don't think one or the other particularly helps. I just don't know which one harms the most. Certainly relationships tend to exacerbate paranoia and obsessive thought.

Can anyone relate? Has anyone been through this, and possibly have helpful advice?