It's not surprising that this has put you in a tailspin- this is a big change for you. I don't have any advice other than to just stick with the feelings, ride it out, breathe, be patient, keep thinking about it, keep talking to your therapist, keep talking to your friend. Things feel frightening now, but that will settle down, and you will find your bearings again.

I have been following your journey with interest, and I'm glad that you share so willingly here. I find it inspiring, how hard you are willing to work to explore yourself and achieve personal growth. Wishing you well in your continued work.