I have read that many college graduates go through a period of crisis, kind of similar to mid-life crisis, especially if there was no set career linked into their studies. However, I need some more personal advice, I cannot move forward without something.
I used to be really into the performing arts. In high school I did everything, dance, sing, act, choreograph, direct, play in a band, and even some visual arts. I even went to college for dance (that turned out to be terrible, not because I wasn't dedicated, but because the college was all wrong & I needed much more structured strict training). I left that college, transferred, and did two years of a liberal arts education in mostly literature... I did one play and took no dance classes in those two years.
Now that I've graduated, I keep wondering what it is I actually want to pursue. I don't want to spend my parents' money recklessly, so I live at home, and haven't really developed a sense of independence.
I just don't know if I stopped dancing because I was discouraged, depressed and couldn't believe in myself, or if I stopped because it wasn't meant to be. I have heard other dancers claim that they "live, breathe, and sleep dance", but I was never one of those. I love dance and theater, but I feel I'm not talented, despite what I've been told, and though I was never shy onstage, offstage I don't fit in with the extroverted confidence of most actors/dancers.
I don't know what to do. I feel it may be irresponsible to go back to performing arts with my low self esteem. I may end up just wasting my parents money, or else exhausting myself physically as a waiter, and emotionally at auditions.
I just don't know if I'm giving up my real passion in life. I also want to help people, and am passionate about that, but don't know where to begin.
Even writing this gets to me. I feel selfish even thinking of going into the arts. I often feel as though I should get a nursing degree, or teach. I know that would be less selfish, and I think I could be fairly content doing either one. I just wonder if my dream for so long to be a performer is a pipe dream.