I finally admitted it to my husband today that I'm back to cycling again despite the years of reprieve. We had words about the years when he dumped me at the inpatient ward and didn't speak to me until I was ready to come home. I've never quite forgiven him for agreeing to sign the papers to put me in permanently. It was only the electroshock that brought me around enough I was safe to exist in the outside world.
So, tomorrow I call the pdoc and ask her to change my meds. I hate to go back to all of that. I don't have a lot of hope that things will work out but I guess there is a chance that the change in meds will do the trick. I don't want to be sick again and hopeless all the time. I did at least get out of bed today. I suppose that is something.

Belle