When you talk about dropping defences and regressing, I shudder inside a bit. I realise the idea of being completely regressed/vulnerable makes me want to vomit, I can't bare the idea. And yet, when I have been vulnerable and been at rock bottom, I have felt as though I got more out of it, and he has been very containing and reliable. But the let downs still take me back to square 1. It's a long journey I guess.

Calming - I think what skies meant (correct me if I'm wrong), is that over time, the therapy helps us to open up and allow more nurturing goodness in. The therapist's input usually remains consistent... in fact consistency is quite important. But during the therapy, we slowly learn to trust through good experiences of being cared for and kept in mind - thus allowing ourselves to take more good nurturing in.