I'm a lot older at 53 but I'm going through the same thing. Recently I initiated and planned a spa day including lunch with two of my oldest friends. One of which I had not spoken to in almost a year. She told me she thought about me but contacting me was like a job. It required a large window of time. At first I was hurt by this but then I really thought about it and I understood. I gave her the position in my live of my old and dear friend while I am just someone she grew up with and use to be close to. We are still girlfriends but only in the most casual way.

When I thought about this I realized I have the same problem with several people in my life. It's not that they don't care about me or don't like me but I'm a low priority. I keep asking myself why have I given them a place of prominence? Now I'm looking much closer at who I consider a friend. I also need to find my "tribe" LoL. I have to work harder at not spending time alone and being inside my head. I need to work on the good relationships I have and add to them.

September for me is always a time to start new projects so this year I am my own project. I've started journaling & blogging again, I plan on participating more here at psychcentral, I'm going back to seeing a therapist and possibly into DBT again and I'm starting a vision board. I've always heard people talk about vision boards so I figured why not give it a go! I know I need a better support system and no one is going to do that for me. I'm also planning to start attending church again. I feel like a spiritual connection would be good for me. I plan on looking into Buddhism. I figure I can pretty much attend any place and see where I'm led.

I don't know how things will work for me or if any of this is even interesting to you! I will post and say how things are going. Good Luck To You! I hope you find everything you need.