my therapist has come back from holiday and I talked to her about these issues. (feeling I was inferior and because of that getting rejected or excluded) she suggested working on that. now I am supposed to deal with the exact things that could cause me to slip back into deep depression. other people rejecting me really scares me to death. I cannot deal with it at all. my self-confidence is super fragile. (right now I have moments or times of the day when I am okay but it still can go downhill within minutes. stopped medication again because of strong side effects.)
I really want to try and talk to them anyway. how can I avoid feeling a lot worse when facing these kind of situations? I know I have to go out there and try but I am so scared!

I sort of can see myself lying on the floor crying and wishing to die within two days from now. don't want that.

example:
there is this guy I used to study with and I ran into him yesterday. we were friends at university first and I always had very nice conversations with him and I respected him very much and I think he respected me, too. at some point he started acting very cool and distant towards me and didn't want to have conversations anymore and said things like I was annoying him when I talked. I don't know why. but I was very unhappy about that and still am.
that is more than a year ago now. I had a weird encounter with him at a bar once when we both were drinking and talked just shortly. and he said we were friends. and I was very surprised because he had basically stopped all contact with me. so I really don't get what his problem is.
so yesterday I saw him and of course he didn't say hello to me but only to the other person standing right next to me. and I found that very upsetting but somewhat usual by now. so this time I chose to say a loud HELLO! some seconds after he had already started a conversation with the guy right next to me completely ignoring my existence.

so is that an improvement? it still really upset me because I had to think about it instead of just ignoring his behavior.
these kind of things really make me depressed and feel worthless.

I also wrote some emails to people I felt I wanted to talk to and am waiting for their replies. I have a weird feeling that this was a big mistake.