Thanks. I'm still feeling the same, like an internal.... rawness and jitteriness. I tried Perna's strategy, to let the anxiety work for me, and I was glad for a while, to be breathing, breathing means I'm alive and I was so grateful for it I started crying. Being alive means the opportunity to make things better, to fight, which is no small thing.

In terms of the things I need to do vs. what I want to do though...

they kind of overlap. When I said "three things I should be doing" I meant work, homework and some other projects. When I thought about what I wanted to do, it was also to do my writing, which is my homework, but what I feel like doing is curling up in a ball in the corner and not coming out for a while and it's hard to shake that feeling. But also, my daughter will be home momentarily and I have deadlines and such, and what I would like to feel better is to talk to my T and that's not an option. I wrote her though, could hope for a good reply, I just...

I really don't know. I already left work early to focus on another project. I shouldn't have done that. And am supposed to go out w/my daughter soon, but hard to keep up w/so many plans. I have to stop thinking and talking about doing badly and feeling unwell, I think it'll just make it worse...

I'm doing fine, no catastrophes and anxiety isn't fatal, or even close at all, and yeah. I just want someone to calm me down and I can't have it and so I need to get over it.

Thanks for replying, I'm sorry you're struggling.