I was doing well yesterday: I went in my garden and I pulled weeds. Sometimes it helps. No time for weeding now, but maybe I can get lost in something else. I think the secret to anxiety is getting lost, absorbed. The thing is... I have a hard time at that.

The most soothing thing I can think of to get lost in right now is my therapist's voice. She has a pretty nice one, soft and gentle with an accent that reminds me of my grandmother's (oooh is it any wonder I'm hooked) and she has a knack for telling me what to do, like "describe the view out your window" that somehow, sometimes works.

I don't have her now, so what can I get lost in, as some other things aren't working and I'm very busy, and can't put everything off. I'm going to see my daughter soon, maybe we'll be able to go out. Perhaps I can get lost in an excursion with her: taking good care of her would be a good way to use the little concentration I have!

That future seems far away though, ha, I'm so bad at telling time sometimes, like right now is a bit of forever, painful forever.