I completely understand what you are feeling. I was suffering from severe OCD a few years ago to the point where I was staying up all night, obsessing and compulsing. I was so miserable that I actually became as you describe- not suicidal but so depressed that I didn't want to do anything. I just want to tell you that there is hope. You won't feel like this forever if you get help.

I have a few suggestions. Get a self-help book on OCD. "Talking back to OCD" is a good one. It's written with the intention of helping kids with OCD but the skills that it teaches are applicable to people of all ages. Next, you need professional help. OCD is a monster to get rid of on your own. Because of the fear aspect, it is very hard to find the motivation to resist whatever OCD is telling you, regardless of how miserable you are and how much you want to get rid of it. You need another person to hold you accountable and push you when you mentally and physically can't push yourself. Ask your GP for a recommendation for a good psychologist and a good psychiatrist. You specifically need a therapist who is certified to treat OCD. Many therapists have experience with the disorder but only select therapists actually do EX/RP therapy (which is a kind of behavior therapy that is used to treat specifically OCD). I made the mistake of becoming attached to a therapist that didn't specialize in EX/RP and it made my life a nightmare. A psychiatrist can prescribe medication to lessen the severity of the anxiety. I know many people are against taking medication but I'm telling you, medication really helps. It makes it so that the anxiety is bearable enough to even do the EX/RP therapy. Once you start making progress, you can wean off the medication if you choose. I highly suggest you talk to your psychiatrist about medication. I had success on Anafranil and Luvox. Lastly, if things are so bad that you need immediate help, I would look into residential treatment facilities. I spent seven weeks at Rogers Memorial Hospital in Wisconsin. I did intensive EX/RP and being in a predictable, therapeutic setting where I didn't have to focus on anything else (like homework, making my meals, washing my laundry, etc.) really helped me get the OCD symptoms under control.

I really hope you can get some professional help. I know how much OCD sucks. PM me if you want to talk to someone or have any questions.