I do understand where you're coming from. I'm also a strong type of personality and people are often afraid of me. I also worry that maybe my T can't handle me. I've been through 6 T's and in hospital several times, in lock up. I'm a tough gal type and my T hardly weighs 100 lbs. So, when I admitted I had transference on T,like she's the mother I always wanted, I had a deep fear that my very presence would "poison" my T and cause her to fall over dead.
But T said that this comes from the "Oedipal" stage , a dissociated part of myself that taps into when the infant does believe it can destroy the mom. It is the struggle between good object-bad object that you can read about in psychoanalysis. Melanie Klein is one of those analysts who talked a lot about it in her book, "Love, Hate, and Reparation" It is a regressed, "Little child" part that is subconscious, or conscious. Of course the adult self knows better.
But it's so true as in the post above, that anything can be gotten through as long as you and your therapist talk about it.