Well certainly I'm in no position to diagnose, but its certainly likely you could have PTSD...even if not though you're certainly not unwelcome here. Its possible you might benefit from hearing about how other people here cope with things or what not...and there are probably others that have simular sorts of trauma....mine is from something pretty different but it was still traumatizing.

Anyways I hope you end up finding this forum helpful...if nothing more at least for venting.