This sounds just like me! When I was in school I would never perform as well in school as my "smart" friends and it literally made me not want to try. I managed to get out of high school with a 3.5 GPA. Do you think that made me happy? Nope. I cried to my parents that I wasn't smart enough because I didn't get a 4.0. I was a "failure" and even with a college degree, I feel totally unaccomplished a lot these days and don't bother trying to reach goals unless I stick to a fairly strict daily agenda.

I think perfectionists have a different view of what failure is and it doesn't make a lot of sense to other people I suppose. For what it's worth, don't even think about the "big picture". Ruminating on that just reminds you of how far you have to go. Just one foot in front of the other. People may think that you're lazy (more than likely that's your own self talk) but even if they are assuming the worst about you, they don't know your daily struggle so just let them talk.