Thanks so much. Hope you're hanging in there alright. I thiink we do it for so many different reasons. I also feel like I annoy people who look at me and say "look at all you've accomplished!" and all I can say is "yeah... I guess it's alright," then immediately jump into everything I didn't do better or perfect. A neuropsych eval I had revealed I have very perfectionistic tendencies so I think that might be part of it too.

I've been having a real hard time with the self-doubt and negative self talk lately. My tdoc keeps telling me I need to celebrate my accomplishments and that they are all so remarkable and show my resiliency... but no matter what she says, I still feel like all of it is meaningless. I really need to get to the bottom of this... I think I'm just scared that it's going to go REAL deep, into the scary pits of childhood neglect/abandonment type issues. I'll admit it, I'm just afraid to find out what's there. But the alternative isn't much better. Just gotta hold my breath and jump in the deep end, I guess.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you're doing well.