Jessica, I don't think he's abusive, I just suggested you read your post as if it was written by one of the woman at the shelter, mostly because sometimes putting things outside of us open our eyes.
I know you love him, and he probably loves you. But there are some signals of "unhealthy areas"in your relationship, and is best to nip them on the butt right on, or they can turn into big issues latter on.

gab