I've been struggling a lot with body image lately. Well, really for my whole life but it kinda fluctuates and has been rearing its head more in the past month or so. I always feel bad talking about my self-esteem issues regarding my body because intellectually I know I have a figure that many women covet, but I suppose it's a symptom of the sickness of our culture that no matter what our body looks like, pretty much every woman I've ever met has some issues with it.

I'm 5'11" and 130 lbs, fairly thin, wide hips and very small breasts. I was teased all throughout childhood and adolescence about my stick-like figure. "Real women have curves" crap doesn't help either. I've never had trouble finding relationships or people to sleep with. My current partner tells me I'm sexy. Strangers tell me I'm pretty. Women tell me all the time they "wish they had my body." So why do I hate what I see in the mirror so much?? I just feel like my body never "grew up." Apart from my hips (which, due to my height, do not look as wide as they actually are) everything about my body says "little girl" to me. I feel like I'm still that 14 year old girl crying in her room because everyone laughed at her flat chest and sticking socks in her bra.

The craziest part is that I'm bisexual, and the women I'm most attracted to all have figures somewhat like mine! I think tall ladies with small breasts and big hips are sexy as hell, so why doesn't that apply to me? External validation clearly doesn't work. I've had issues with disordered eating in the past and I feel like those old behaviors are flaring up again. The old instinct is to starve myself, but then I am afraid of losing the tiny bit of "curves" I do have so I end up fasting all day and binging at night. Luckily this issue doesn't affect sex for me-that's probably the only area in my life I'm actually confident in, sadly. But I feel like I am driving my partner crazy with constant compliment-deflecting and complaints. Truth be told I am driving myself crazy!

I feel like this shouldn't even be important to me because there is so much more to me than my body... but it is. Any other flat-chested ladies struggle with this too? Or any general tips on accepting your body? I just want to stop obsessing over something I can't change (apart from surgery, which I'd never get anyway) and annoying people who love me. Thanks.