Teacake, to answer the question in the title, how do I stay patient, I don't. Not at all. I want what all men want, at least American men raised in the 20th and 21st centuries, instant gratification, fast action, quick resolution to problems. My whole life has been one big exercise in problem solving, so when I come up against something that has no quick or easy solution, or seems insolveable at times, it is uber-frustrating, confusing, and frightening. That feeling of "there has to be an answer, there has to be a fix for this" is a compelling driver.

Action? Yeah, maybe that's part of the whole thing. I know the entire experience kicked me off my sorry *** and got me moving in ways I never dreamed I could move, both figurative and literally. Run, boy, run for your life - that is what I tell myself all of the time, and I believe it. I keep moving because I am very afraid to sit still. I keep moving because movement blows off the energy. I keep moving because I have no choice but to move.

I am sorry your son doesn't get it. I don't think anyone who hasn't had the experiences and developed the problems will ever "get it". When ever I said something to my previous T about being "in the psych ward" she would always get this look and tell me that I was being overly dramatic about it, that I shouldn't feel so much shame, etc. Easy for her to say, she isn't the one with that in her medical records, on her conscience, and hanging over her head. They can't understand if it hasn't happened to them, and I know your son "doesn't know what he doesn't know", and I know you don't wish this upon him. I guess the best you can do is try to make him understand what you need.