(((((((((Jax))))))))))))

I am known as the "emotionally acting" queen! (actually that's mostly in the past now). I always acted first and thought later. My perception of what people said to me was horrendous at times. At work, I was dubbed "The Business Office B****". Not a name I was proud of I can tell you that.

Then, a person came along at work who was younger and full of attitude (some warrented, some not). He was my new boss. We clicked in many ways, and in many ways he knew how to make me responsible for my actions/reactions. He laid it on the line with me, told me that I had options....learn how to change my attitude or find another job. But at the same time, he gave me the tools I needed to learn how to change my attitude. He had patience and understanding but could also be tough too.

Here are a few things I learned from him -

1. Just because I'm having a bad day doesn't mean I need to project that on others.

2. Active listening, not just hearing what others are saying and thinking before reacting.

3. Realizing that others may have something going on in their lives that make them act the way they do. I am not the center of the universe.

4. Smile! Think of one good thing a day and hold onto it. Soon, not only does your face smile, your insides smile too. A smile can also bring others into it's fold and help them feel good.

5. Remember that there is always more than one good way of doing something. Everyone has their own ideas and should be allowed to try what they think is best. That's how we learn what works and what doesn't work. It's also how we learn creativity.

6. When I perceive something being said as a slam to me, and my emotions bubble up and I want to lash out and protect myself, I stop for a minute, think about what they said, and repeat it back to the individual who said it. 9 times out of 10 I have taken what they said out of context in some way, and they will explain themselves, and I find out how I took it, was not how it was meant.

I don't know if any of this pertains to you, but I thought I would share it just in case. Remember that the way you act now was a learned lesson and you can unlearn it. You can also learn to react in other more favorable ways. It won't happen overnight.....it takes time, patience and work, but it's very do-able!

Good luck Jax, the fact that you recognize your issue is awesome and shows you are ready to change your ways!

Hugssssss
J