I know it is rough right now and we all know the feeling to give up and yes you have been doing this for a long time, but there are the good days to live for and keep shooting for. Your life is precious and I don't want to see you give up. I may not know you, but I care for the struggles you go through. Keep posting here, support helps a lot. Congrats on mustering the strength to call, I know you can do it again tomorrow.