You can't just "shake" off bipolar, any more than you could shake off cancer or diabetes. It's not a disease you can get rid of like the flu. I know you have a hard time accepting that, as I do, but it's the absolute truth.

I finally filed for disability. I'm tired of applying for jobs knowing I can't do them. Maybe you should think about it too, it takes a long time to get a hearing and many people are denied the first time or two. And please talk to your pdoc about your meds---you definitely need some tweaks!