One good thing happened today. I found out for definite sure that my primary care doctor will still see me as a patient. I was afraid and had my doubts a couple of weeks ago when I went to see him because I did not get a return appointment. My friend who referred me to him went to see him today and she talked to him and told me that he will still see me and I am supposed to call him about my medications.

Work is still problematic. We had a quiet day today so I got a lot of stuff done but the 24 year old co-worker who seems to have it out for me copped a serious attitude with me towards the end of the day. The head nurse who is also a friend of mine still thinks there is a conspiracy going on to get rid of her. I think there is probably a conspiracy going on to get rid of me. My other old friend is now a "junior manager" and I am not sure whether to trust her or not.

I am still looking for another job but I haven't found one yet. I am so tired. I am tired of the stress. I wake up in the morning with anxiety attacks. I am having difficulty finding reasons to want to live. I cannot afford a therapist. I probably need to be in a hospital or something but I can't afford it. I just want to quit this job. I can't deal with this anymore. I'm so sad.