"I want to want to stop."

This sentence makes a lot of sense to me. You have to want to stop. When I first quit two and a half years ago, I did it because I was told that I believed I was causing someone else I knew to SI -- long story. Anyways, I started to SI again back in April after being "sober" for two years. I have said several times that I wanted to stop, but I didn't really have a want to stop. Now, as of today, I do. I got good news today, and found out that I could start counseling people earlier than I had expected. So now I want to stop, so I can help myself and help others. I hope that makes sense.
You will find a reason.

Be safe,

Celtic