I'm not asking him to break me out of prison. And he's 27 with a masters degree and a security clearance and a passport. And a really beautiful smart girl who seems to be helping him with how to do voice mail, "hi teac, its kiddo and I'm calling because I love you".

Sometimes I forget the lost decade. I swear I feel his age. I think he must be fifteen. Or my age which is 29.

Doc said trauma damages the brain. I need a neuropsych. I've got what dad had and what moms bro has too. High iq with a big dent in it. I don't know what all. My ex is I'm an enigma. I ask if that is racist. Only my mother laughs.

I needed someone to organise this get me treated ordeal. I don't want to have a stroke or suicide because no one got around to a good dx and treatment.