As some of you may know from the "Teen in Need" board, I recently suffered bad sexual confusion. To the point where I was spending my days feeling dark etc

Well, reading up, I realised I had been suffering HOCD (At least I think I was). The symptoms were deffinately there. And now, all of a sudden, I dont feel confused any more.

Whilst thats a good thing and I should be celebrating that Im now feeling better. I feel suspicious. Is it natural to feel this way all of a sudden. Women are suddenly sexually attractive again to me, I dont see men as soul mates ( not that I did) or sexual beings. Maybe the occasional "yeh hes good looking".

What confuses me is lack of answers, how Im not sure if Im okay, whether I'm in denial, do I really find women attractive... ive gone on for 4 months being confused, its never guaranteed if my confusion has been lifted. I think my mind wants answers.

Maybe, becuase Im 14, this whole thing was a hormonal thing. But then I think it was HOCD, the things I did corresponded to it all. IE checking the way I walked, getting uncomfortable when a member of the same sex was a cm close to me.

Sometimes Im still a little scared that Ill never fall in love with a woman.

I think perhaps all this time I have been doing exposure therapy without realising it. Testing the waters. Talking about gay issues, looking at males and seeing if I think they were good looking. It was watching stuff like Will n Grace I saw that I didnt "feel" like the Will nd Jack.

I dunno whether Im just not used to feeling straight, but Im scared itll all go wrong. I dont feel it in my heart, that Im gay. Im scared that its denial.... Im not sure whether this is ok or not.

Im scared that gayness will latch onto me outta nowhere becuase Im finally feeling okay again. I just feel odd!