Hi Sky!!
Aww PTSD dreams are the worst! Sorry for what you have been through.
I've been in the same position. I know in my case when I get that feeling of numb but yet content, I am dissociating. It feels better then the feeling of reliving terrifying "memories" but you should be able to feel your feelings. I'm still in the process of recovering my feeling because I have spent years blocking them out, what I mean by years is practically all my life lol, but sometimes yoga helps me connect. Just a suggestion.
Or even a simple check in with your body, noticing sensations or even small changes you can feel?
If you don't mind me asking, what do you do now to get over ptsd symptoms?

Good luck!